Glendale CA: City of Car Alarms.

Imagine living across the street from the International Car Alarm Factory Outlet. And every day the entire staff of salesmen would showcase their wares, demonstrating them to everyone they could wrangle in to the store. Imagine the din of a dozen car alarms going at once, all day every day 24 hours at a time. Imagine the beeps and wails. Honks and headlights and crying babies and you have an excellent idea of what it is like to live in Glendale. I'd kill myself but the gunshot would set off a dozen car alarms.

We've got one neighbor who's car must announce its every lock and unlock with no fewer than 5 honks of the horn and a beep of some kind to signal that the process is over and it's safe to open the door/leave the car alone. Not only that but the cars alarm will sound randomly and often, like Gabriels trumpet, at all hours of the day and night for no reason AT ALL. It just likes to burst into song I suppose, like that skinny kid you went to high school with who was so into Gershwin. It only ceases when when whoever owns it rolls out of bed and digs through his jeans pockets to find the keys and shut it down. It's a process to say the least. Of course we never see the guy and we're not even 100% sure which car it is because by the time we roll out of bed and get to a window it's usually done. And I think the owner just points his fob out the window, indiscreet as that sounds. Here's the weird part: the car never moves. Not only is there no rhyme or reason to its wailing for attention, but there is no reason to lock/unlock it in the first place. Does he/she store the pots and pans in there? Is it used as a second bedroom? There is NO reason to access a car that often unless you are a pizza delivery person. NONE! It's getting flat spots on the tires and people are scrawling "wash me" in the coat of dust currently blanketing it. There's a smiley face on the windshield! The car does, however, have a flash spoiler on the back, to indicate its potential for speed. Stay classy Glendale!!