The true story of how I rescued a dog with an assist by Michael Jackson

Ok, this story it true. All of it, strange as it sounds.

Several years ago I was driving with my girlfriend up on Los Virgenes in Calabasas where she lived. Los Virgenes is one of a few roads connecting PCH (and Malibu) with the 101 (and the world). It can get kind of busy at times near the 101 where it's a little built up and we were sitting in traffic when I noticed the nicest Rolls Royce behind us that I'd ever seen. All Rolls are nice, it comes with the territory, but this one was the prototypical Rolls. The Rolls all others aspired to be. I don't know its vintage (though I know it was an older one) but it was clean and shiny as the day it came off the assembly line. There is a subtle difference between an expensive car and a really great car, they shine differently. It's subliminal.

Anyway, here's this car distracting me from the business at hand, which is maneuvering through the slow moving group of people trying to get on the freeway, when this dog comes bouncing of nowhere into traffic. He was frolicking, something I've never seen an animal do until then, but there he was. Forty or so pounds, basically still a pup, chasing after god knows what while cars swerve around him and an older lady comes flapping down the road behind him. She's obviously distraught as her dog goes barreling down a side road into a parking lot for a school. My passenger says we should stop and we're not going anywhere so we pull over in the lot as the dog does his dog stuff around the lot and various temporary buildings. I notice the fancy Rolls pulling in behind but don't think much about it as I get out and start thinking about how I'm going to get this crazy dog.

Now in retrospect I realize the logic behind following a strange animal into a blind alley is probably faulty but he seemed nice at the time and I was trying to be the hero so off I went. As a kid we had a dog that would bolt at any opportunity presented him so I knew it was just a matter of being patient enough and waiting until he decided I was ok, then I could grab him. So I'm heading down into this lot with my girlfriend and Rolls Royce guy, following this dog. Rolls Royce guy was quiet, wearing aviators and a baseball cap pulled low but that's all I got, since I wasn't paying much attention.

I just realized this is a short story getting long. Here we go: the dog ended up trying to dive into a crawl space where I got him by the collar and started heading back up to where his owner was waiting. As I turned around, there's MJ. Ball cap, pony tail hanging out the back, sunglasses. Full on celebrity disguise. I said thanks for the help and he mumbled something in his high pitch and that was it. We walked up together, got in our cars and headed out. It was strange to say the least, and I was caught up in grabbing this dog and trying to impress the girl that I didn't think about it until later. "That was Michael Jackson" I said as I started the car to go. "No" she replied, "it was some tranny stripper". I don't think she got a good look though.