Dispatches from the Library or: ATT has the worst service EVER!

The move went fine. Everything is in and so far nothing has broken. The neighborhood is nice and we've met some neighbors. The problem is ATT can't for the life of them seem to figure out what's going on with our DSL. I've never had worse service from a company which, presumably, wants me to send them a check each month in my life. I've been sent from one department to another and back again. I've been told I'd be called back and never was. I've been given different stories as to why we're not hooked up yet (despite all of their assurances that last Monday would not be a problem). I've spent hours on hold. All to find out there is a box somewhere without room for the plug they need. So I have to wait until Friday (they say, and nothing they've said so far has even resembled the truth) before I have my DSL. Will they reimburse me for my tuition if I fail a class? Probably not. Are they apologetic? Only as apologetic as a high school kid with a crappy job in a call center can be. What can you do? You can't get mad at them, they're just there to field calls and hope that the department they send you to can answer your questions. Change providers? I don't think anyone else can get me hooked up by Friday and if they could changing our emails and updating everything else sounds more tedious than what it's worth. It's not like my monthly bill going missing is going to put a dent in the buckets of money they rake in each month. Nobody will be fired over our leaving. They've got you over a barrel and they know it. It's so frustrating.
One woman tried to sell me cellular service after keeping me on hold for an hour to tell me the "escalation team" would call me back in 8 hours (which they didn't). Right, because you're doing such a bang up job helping me out now, I'll take on the additional headache of getting cell service that sucks. And what's an "escalation team"? It sounds like something NATO peacekeepers do when the blue helmets aren't having the proper effect on the local warlords.